If you've encountered the idea of values at all, it was probably in relation to your workplace rather than on an individual level. Corporate values are often articulated through notions such as teamwork, fairness or diversity. The hardest step is, of course, moving beyond catchphrases and taking action to embed these values into the culture of the organisation.
As an individual, your values are the things that are important to you. It really is that simple. But how often do we really take the time to sit and think about why we feel this way, and how our values influence the way we live?
plural noun: values
1. the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
2. principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life.
When we live in a way that matches our values, we are more likely to be satisfied with how our lives are going. We can express ourselves in a more authentic manner, and set clear boundaries with confidence. Understanding our values can also help with decision making.
Are you considering that promotion even though it will mean longer hours and less time with the people who matter to you? Ask yourself - what currently brings the most meaning to your life - professional achievement or spending time with your support network?
Smaller but equally important decisions we take everyday can also be met with our values in mind. From the kind of chocolate we buy (fairly traded or familiar brand) to how we spend our time exercising (regular morning run alone or team sports at the weekend).
Conversely, getting sidetracked from our values might leave us feeling out of sorts with the world. We are more likely to second guess ourselves, struggle to feel understood by others, and set goals based on what we are told is important rather than what is actually meaningful to us. In turn, it's easy to lose confidence in ourselves and our ability to navigate life successfully.
First step - identify your values
When narrowing down values with clients I always use a prompt list. There are a number available online - I recommend looking at these on offer from Dr Brene Brown or Dr Russ Harris
Begin by identifying which of the words on the list speak to you. Some of my clients like to start by crossing out the ones that they instantly dislike - others prefer to circle those that feel instantly meaningful. Next, remove any that create no emotional connection whatsoever. It is important to remember that there is no moral context to any of these words - you are not being judged for prioritising one over another. Try not to overthink it. The aim is to end up with a short list of words that are meaningful for you.
At this point, allow yourself as many words as you desire. There are benefits to narrowing the list down to just 2/3, but that can come later. Take a look at each in turn and challenge yourself with the following questions -
1.The same word can mean different things to different people. What does this word mean to me?
2. Does this word really belong to me or have I inherited it from someone who has influence in my life? Do I want to keep it? Am I happy to allow this value influence over how I mould my life going forwards?
3. Have I outgrown this value? Am I holding onto it because I think that it 'should' be a priority, rather than because it is a priority?
As you work through your list of values you might start to see connections between them. If it feels natural, gather them into small families of connected words. Is there a headline word that sums up the content of each 'family'?
Remember to be playful. Try turning your list into something visually pleasing with coloured pens and craft materials. Perhaps you can arrange them into a song or a poem. You are taking a deep dive into some big topics here but don't forget to have fun. Spend time with your values, roll around in them, give them a chance to sink in.
So what next?
Once you're clear on your values, the next step is to understand how this translates into the way you currently live your life. Initially, focus on the present. If 'Fun' is one of your values - how are you currently including it in your life? Is it present enough?
Don't forget that values are not all about how we treat other people, but also about how we treat ourselves. If you have identified 'Kindness' ask yourself not only how you show kindness to others, but how you show kindness to yourself. In my experience we often forget that it works both ways.
When you're ready, the next step is action. Without action, our list remains a collection of words. Take small steps at first, and don't try to do everything at once. Sometimes the best action is simply paying attention. As you go about your day start to ask yourself - does this fit with my values? If the answer is no, reflect on what you might do differently next time. With a little practice it becomes easier to create the small changes that have a big influence in our daily lives.
In my next blog post I will be sharing a useful exercise from my occupational therapy practice. This will help you to look at the balance of activities in your life - from responsibilities to leisure time - and appreciate whether this balance fits with the values you have identified today. In the meantime - check out this fascinating Ted Talk to understand why rest is about more than getting enough sleep.
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